Inc. Magazine
When ghosted in business, the real issue isn’t the rejection but the time and effort invested in a mirage. Ghosting leads to frustration, as it feels like your goal keeps slipping away. The key? Don’t get stuck on the ghost. Keep pursuing what’s next and don’t let it hold you back.
Author: Joe Procopio
“Dear Sir. I’m writing to let you know that I am done bending over backward for you. After you missed our last meeting and refused to respond to several requests to reschedule, I have decided you are no longer worth my time, which will be better spent with people who actually appreciate me. Have a great life.”
Whoa.
That’s an email you’ve written in your head a dozen times, right? Me too. It also happens to be a cleaned-up version of an email that I had to stop a partner of mine from sending to an investor years ago.
He does not stand for being ghosted—by prospective investors, partners, or even customers. Neither do I. Neither do you.
But we all know not to fire off a response like that—as freaking satisfying and righteous as it would be. So no, I’m not telling you to never send angry emails when people ghost you.
However, there’s actually one more thing you absolutely should not do.
The Ghosting Itself Isn’t the Real Problem
Ghosting isn’t new in the business world. If anything, in 2025, it’s become more accepted—in this weird way where we’re all pretty quick to forgive ourselves for ghosting someone but loathe to forgive others for ghosting us.
I’m as guilty as the next. I’m not judging, just explaining. Judgsplaining.
And my former partner wasn’t a bad guy. At all. He had just reached his limit.
His own company was struggling. Not failing, but he needed to get this deal done to take a lot of pressure off of him. His personal life was no picnic either. All of this had been boiling for months, as far as I knew, maybe longer. And although he eventually got out from under all the weight piling up on his shoulders, at that point, he was just one more ghosting away from cracking.
We’ve all been there, right? Yesterday I ordered a bacon double-cheeseburger and they gave me a Whopper Jr. and now I’m probably one more Whopper Jr. away from just getting in the car and driving and not stopping until I run out of gas.
But enough about my problems.
Again, I’m not going to sit here and tell you that when you get ghosted you shouldn’t stress or get upset. Stress all you want. That’s a symptom, and I need to recognize it to get to the cause and cure.
Is It About Forgiveness?
Now we’re getting somewhere.
When you’re a leader—of companies, of teams, of projects, whatever, even the leader of your own destiny—and you’ve been that leader for more than five minutes, you’ve built up a tolerance for bad behavior. You can ignore—and ultimately forgive—a lot of garbage. In business, this most often manifests itself in:
- Customers who feel they’re entitled to far more than the already incredible value you’re delivering.
- Partners and even employees who put less into the whole pie while expecting more from their own slice.
- Investors who know their terms are bad for you, and also know that you know their terms are bad for you, but expect you to be grateful and take the deal anyway.
You can get past all of this. It’s the nature of business and the nature of leadership.
Now, I’m not telling you that you need to forgive the ghoster. Screw that guy. There’s just one person you can’t forgive, and one mistake that person keeps making that is unforgivable.
Winners Don’t Win Without Losing
Again, when you’re a leader, rejection is the air you breathe. If you’re not getting rejected, you’re not trying. So it’s probably not the rejection you’re upset about. It’s more likely the time and effort you put into the process that ended in the rejection.
And here’s the thing. Ghosting isn’t a singular rejection. It’s the buildup of weeks, maybe months, of time and effort that you spent, with signals all along the way telling you that you were getting closer and closer to the goal, along with all the hopes and dreams that drive us to do whatever we do that requires acceptance from the other party.
And then, with ghosting, the goalpost doesn’t disappear, as it would with a flat rejection. It just sits there and it’s not moving, but every time you look up it seems to be a couple inches further away.
And it never disappears. It’s always right there, a little further away.
So you have to decide that it’s a mirage. And that means it was always a mirage. And that means you fell for the mirage. Again. And all the time and effort and hopes and dreams you put into this mirage meant nothing. Not only that, but it came at the cost of a thousand other things you could have been doing to get to the same goal.
Things you would be doing right now if that damn mirage wasn’t still there, not disappearing.
That’s What You Absolutely Can’t Do
That’s where the anger in the angry email comes from. That’s why we all live in glass ghost houses and throw stones at ghosts.
I hear you. After the fact, telling you the cause is you and the cure is to forgive yourself doesn’t mean much. So I’ll leave you with this.
Ghosting is real. It’s not going away. It’s not like you can stop going after those things that require acceptance from customers, partners, investors, and such. And if it requires acceptance, it opens you up to being ghosted.
They say a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. It’s not. So until that bird has signed the contract and the check is deposited and clears, keep chasing those two in the bush.
Understand that you’re going to keep making the mistake. You’re going to keep getting ghosted. Don’t let the specter of that hold you back.
Credits: TCA, LLC.