Inc.
Happiness is not just luck or personality; a surprising part of it comes from what you choose to notice, do, and repeat.
Science Says Just 3 Minutes a Day Is All It Takes to Feel Happier
Author: Jeff Haden
First, the bad news. If you want to be happier, studies show approximately 50 percent of your happiness set point is determined by personality traits that are largely hereditary: Think nature, not nurture.
The good news? While 50 percent of your level of happiness lies outside your control, that means approximately half of your subjective well-being (a term psychologists prefer to “happiness“) is based on things you choose to do.
For example, you could choose to use a little money to buy a little time. A study published in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences found that people who occasionally paid others to perform tasks they didn’t enjoy or want to do, like mowing the lawn, cleaning the house, running errands (think things they needed to do but didn’t particularly want to do) were happier and felt greater overall life satisfaction than those who did not.
Another example? You could choose to embrace experiences that, oddly enough, could temporarily make you less happy. A study published in Journal of Experimental Psychology found that people who experience a variety of emotions on a regular basis tend to enjoy better overall mental (and physical) health. Overall happiness comes from emotional balance: experiencing moments of joy, gratitude, awe, and amusement, as well as moments of embarrassment, fear, stress, and even anger.
But what if you don’t have the money to buy a little time, or the time to put yourself in situations that lead to greater “emotional diversity”?
A number of studies have found that people who consciously count their blessings tend to be happier and less depressed. Which is great, but “be more grateful” is an intention, not a plan.
Instead, take a more concrete approach. Make a rule — because rules are much more effective at changing behavior than plans — that at the end of the day you’ll write down three good things that happened to you. Big things, like landing a new customer. Small things, like watching your kids play. (The magnitude is irrelevant.)
But don’t stop there. Make sure you also write down the cause:
- “We landed a new customer because we worked really hard on our sales demo.”
- “I enjoyed watching my kids play because we’ve created a wonderful environment for them to grow up in.”
Why causal gratitude, and not just passive? A study published in American Psychologist found that reflecting on three good things as well as the cause for each leads to long-term increases in overall happiness.
Why is including the cause, even if the cause is “I sat on the porch because the sunset was beautiful,” so important? Because it starts to shift the “good things that happened to me” focus off of things that happened to you, and onto things you made happen. You landed the customer because you worked hard. You enjoyed watching your kids play because you are doing a great job raising them. You sat on the porch because you wanted to experience the beauty of nature.
The difference is similar to the difference between a fixed mindset and a growth mindset. If you aren’t familiar, according to research on achievement and success by Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck, most people tend to have one of two mental perspectives where talent is concerned:
1. Fixed mindset: the belief that intelligence, ability, and skill are inborn and relatively fixed. People with a fixed mindset typically say things like “I’m just not that intelligent” or “Science is not my thing.”
2. Growth mindset: the belief that intelligence, ability, and skill can be developed through effort. People with a growth mindset typically say things like “With a little more time, I’ll get it” or “That didn’t go well, but at least I learned what not to do next time.”
If you aren’t particularly happy and embrace a fixed mindset, you’re likely to feel you will never be particularly happy. After all, you are who you are.
If you aren’t particularly happy and embrace a growth mindset, you’ll be more optimistic. You’ll know that with time and effort, you will find ways to be happier. You can change your circumstances. Change your approach. Change your profession, your network of friends, how you interact with your family—you can become what you become.
Writing down the cause for three good things that happen promotes and reinforces a growth mindset. You did three things that made you happy. Which means you can do three more things tomorrow, and every other day for the rest of your life.
Because greater happiness can be a choice as long as you choose to turn thought into action. That process can start with writing down three things that made you happy today.
And, just as important, why they happened.
Especially if you made them happen.
Credits: TCA, LLC.